(1) Send more troops (maybe 50,000 more) purely for peacekeeping and to protect the troops already there.
(2) Train 25,000 of those soldiers (special forces, actually) *ONLY* on the local Arabic language, Iraqi customs and Iraqi culture. Their task is to establish rapport with the locals and soften the effect of our presence.
(3) Stop building schools, etc… That’s not the job of the military.
(4) Open up dialog with every nation in the Middle East. Find out what each entity wants and use that as leverage.
(5) Have the Bush Administration issue a formal or informal apology to the nations involved and interfered with. Stop protecting any U.S. businesses and corporations that are there - These corporations can buy their own private protection or leave.
(6) Aim to leave in 3 years. The special forces are to soften the effect of leaving and soften the effect of our presence. If this is successful, we may not need to leave.
(7) Leave religion out of the equation and stop talking about democracy. It’s not our place to determine what is best for them, or to shove it down their throats even if we were right. Nevertheless, the special forces can use psychological tactics to encourage the spread of democracy (but more importantly to reduce friction between factions and enable an atmosphere of peace).
(8) Find a compromise between the different factions involved. This should be enabled by the special forces aforementioned and encouraged, not forced onto.
It took me a few minutes to write this up. Surely our leaders can do better.
April 17th, 2007
Posted by
VoiceOfReason |
Strategy, Iraq War, Truth |
no comments
I get the feeling you readers out there don’t all like my ideology. Of course that is to be expected since I am a neoconservative, the true and only principle based ideology (not to be confused with neonazi.)
Anyway, to make the Spin Factor as Fair and Balanced as possible I offer the following: Don’t like my ideology? I’ll adopt yours! Are you an Al-Qaeda leader lacking good writing skills? I’ll help you out (but don’t tell Bush, I don’t want to be put on a no-fly list). Are you a liberal like Clinton in need for some love? I’ll write a personal ad for you and find you a cute intern.
Of course, you may not agree with me, but I certainly agree with you.
Ahmadinejad, I’ve almost finished your article on Why we need to adopt nuclear energy and stop worrying.
And Saddam, I almost finished writing Why I shouldn’t be hanged today - but I had some trouble with adjectival phrases that day, plus Bush needed a one-liner on what he would do that day (”I decided to go to sleep early and didn’t watch the execution”) and it was really hard to write. Then again, I’m still working on it. I know you are dead already, but maybe Bush will regret hanging you when he reads it: Here is an excerpt:
And that, fellow world citizens, is why my life should be spared. Nevertheless, I have some confessions to make in case I die:
To George Bush Senior: Love, I’m sorry I couldn’t quit you. I’m sorry you cheated on Barbara because of me. Maybe this hanging is what I deserve for letting you commit such a beautiful sin. The thing with Donald Rumsfeld was just a fling - I never loved him. I hope you can forgive me someday.
To George Bush Junior: I’m sorry you could never love me as a step-father. I tried. I really did. I never told you this, but when I was dating your father I always fantasized about you and I. And sometimes Bill O’Reilly, too. There’s just something manly and Irish about him.
To all Iraqi citizens: [This is where I left off… sorry Saddam].
As you can see, you need to submit your requests on time. I get calls from Castro everyday and he takes up a lot of my time. He is always babbling on about how his own doctors can’t keep him alive and how he wants me to take over Cuba in his place. But I declined. Here is my letter to Fidel:
It would have been a great honor to serve this nation again. But after thoughtful discussions with people both in and outside of this administration, I concluded that the current Havana decision-making process lacks a linkage to a broader view of the region and how the parts fit together strategically.
I know it sounds a lot like John H. Sheehan’s article, Why I declined to serve (but everyone needs a ghost writer, right?) John H. Sheehan is my ghost writer. He just doesn’t know it.
So if there’s an article you heroes want me to write, I want to write it. 5/4 dictators recommend my services (Bush is the fifth, but he declined to be included).
April 17th, 2007
Posted by
eaglescout |
Al-Qaeda, Journalism, Satire, Liberals, Neoconservatives, Terrorism, Democrats, Truth |
no comments
I recommend you schule kinder (schoolchildren) tell on your teachers if they ever criticize the president:
A top Constitutional scholar from Princeton who gave a speech that slammed Bush’s executive overreach has been added to the TSA’s terrorist watch list. “I was denied a boarding pass because I was on the Terrorist Watch list,” he said. When he asked why, the clerk asked if he had been at any peace marches. We ban a lot of those people.
Yeah, that’ll teach University Professors not to teach if they want to fly American! HAHAHA! Neocons 1 - University Professors 0!
It worked for Nazi Germany, so why wouldn’t it work for Bush? Department of Vaterland Security über alles!
read more…
April 9th, 2007
Posted by
eaglescout |
Satire, Neoconservatives, Terrorism, Truth |
no comments
We must win the war on FIRE. Fire burned us when we cooked our first meal, when we spilled our first McDonald’s coffee on our lap, and innocent civilians are taken down by fire.
Fire doesn’t care if you are a good Christian, or whether your last Christmas tree was nicely decorated (it will burn your tree down without remorse). Fire will kill you even when it is “friendly” fire. We cannot allow fire to consume our country. Or our planet.
Fire is responsible for wiping out our wildlife and wild brush in California. It will take not only your job, but the company you work in. Fire is responsible for burning the Library of Alexandria in 50 B.C. (For context, imagine losing the entire internet today!) Fire destroyed Chicago in 1871 and was sponsored by a COW! Fire and this pyromaniac cow killed hundreds and destroyed about four square miles.
We must not give an inch of flammable material to those cows that would harbor fire and which hold no respect for life of us who want nothing but their freedom. Let this message be heard loud and clear: We will not tolerate sponsors of fire and those who would harbor fire.
“We’re in a new world. We’re in a world in which the possibility of fire, married up with technology, could make us very, very sorry that we didn’t act.
-Condoleeza Rice
“In a world of inhumanity, war and fire, American citizenship is a very precious possession.”
Phyllis Schlafly
“This was not an act of arson, but it was an act of war.”
George W. Bush
“The war we are fighting today against fire is a multifaceted fight. We have to use every tool in our toolkit to wage this war - water, water hydrants, long water hoses, special foam, water-boarding, and of course, water - and we are developing new tools as we go along.”
Richard Armitage
“Fire can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but it cannot touch the foundation of America.
Fire melts steel, but it cannot melt the steel of American resolve.”
–George W. Bush Address to the US after fire burned the US World Trade Centers and Pentagon, September 11, 2001
“There is no meeting of minds, no point of understanding with such fire. Just a choice: put it out or be burned by it. And put it out we must.”
Tony Blair
“Fire made me cruel.”
Emily Brontë
“Did you know Hell is filled with FIRE?”
Më
Those who worship fire will stop at nothing to destroy us.
Did you know hell is filled with FIRE and brimstone? 5 out of 4 reverends recommend avoiding Hell.
We must fight the war on fire to make the world safer. Did you know Hindus harbor cows? And whosoever harbors cows is our enemy. Cows started the 1871 fire.
Cows also spread propaganda like wildfire. Did you ever hear the phrase “Eat Mor Chikin®” Those are the words of cows. Cows that will stop at nothing to see our atmosphere burn up. Do not be fooled by their propaganda.
And let me say this: If you are not willing to fight the war on fire, you do not deserve to NOT be enveloped in flames.
We must slaughter every cow and make no excuses when we eat it raw (remember, there is a war on fire), in front of Hindus. We must not appease to the cows and the Hindus that harbor them.
If you are not against friendly fire, you are with enemy fire. That makes you a traitor. Why don’t you fight with the Hindus?
You know what else about fire? It’s so easy a caveman can do it. Do you want cavemen teaching your children to start fires in your home? I didn’t think so. And gecko poo isn’t clean either.
Once Iran has fire, it will be an irreversible change that will mark a defining moment in the history of the United States and of Western civilization, which will forever alter life at the mercy of hate-filled suicidal fanatics and sadists.
We must therefore taunt Iran in the WATER.
(Yay, Blair!)
And when the war on fire has been won. And when all fire has been extinguished, no one will complain of global warming, for the new trend will be global cooling.
We will then need to turn on our ELECTRIC stoves on all the way to save the planet.
We must burn ALL books on fire, so that fire can never be created again. It will be a big fire. But nobody said the war on fire would be short or easy. We sometimes must make sacrifices. If that means starting a fire to put it out, well, we must fight fire with fire. (No, that doesn’t make us arsonists because two wrong fires, make a right.)
Now, some people don’t think fire is a threat. Well, those are the people we must BURN, on a STAKE! Holding their feet to the fire WILL show them just how dangerous fire is. And that’s how we’ll win them over.
We must distribute flammable ads (soaked in oil) with pictures of people burning and flammable U.S. flags. If people are not afraid of fire, how can we possibly win the war on fire?
We must remind the people that fire is a threat by burning a house down every now and then. We must have a fire alert flash on every major news network to warn us of the local humidity and chance of fire.
We must outlaw all spicy food. Any Mexican who eats spicy food is also the enemy. We must burn all Mexican restaurants in the United States and close the borders to prevent the spread of hot food. We must send refrigerators abroad to spread frigidism and wetness.
People in third world countries didn’t ask for our help, but frigidism and wetness is what’s good for them. (They are so stupid!) Only by establishing frigidism and wetness in the Middle East can we protect the American people of fire.
If you do not oppose fire you are the enemy and we will set you on fire.
April 4th, 2007
Posted by
eaglescout |
Fire, environment, Cows, Evil Elements, War on Fire, Al-Qaeda, Liberals, Iraq War, Terrorism, Democrats, Neoconservatives, Truth |
one comment
Quotes from a level headed conservative (revsam) and an idiot (influsion) on a conservative forum.
Main Article: It doesn’t seem to matter to Pelosi that she is giving terrorist states legitimacy. […] The Associated Press release was entitled: “White House Doesn’t Support House Speaker Pelosi’s Visit to Syria, Saturday , March 31, 2007 which began: “House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will visit Syria, a country President Bush has shunned as a sponsor of terrorism, despite being asked by the administration not to go.â€
influsion: Yeah, Nancy Pelosi is so hot, the enemy can’t resist her.
OMG, do you know anything about diplomacy and its purpose? All the enemy wants is legitimacy.
I think they’d rather obtain their legitimacy by getting some attention from Pelosi than sponsoring terrorists[…]
revsam5: Who in the world would want to sleep with Pelosi anyways? Must be aweful desperate!
Talk with the soldiers, as one who has posted here I think, about what is truthfully going on over in Iraq. Areas that have water for the first time in their history; schools being built; hospitals being rebuilt and restocked with supplies; sewer systems working properly; Hussein gone; yeah sounds like a big waste of time, huh?
Oh yeah, if Pelosi was truly representing American sentiment, then according to what I read and hear, she’s telling lies. Its the Democrats who want to cut and run. The generals who are there in Iraq are saying that cutting and running would be the worst thing. But since when did Pelosi ever truthfully tell the truth? Never.
influsion: revsam, “The generals who are there in Iraq are saying that cutting and running would be the worst thing.”
The ones that aren’t keep getting cut and and replaced by ones who do. Then again that’s a Red Herring argument since it has nothing to do with Pelosi’s visit.
“Talk with soldiers“. I tried talking to 3000, but they were all dead. It’s difficult to know if they approve of the war post-mortem.
April 2nd, 2007
Posted by
eaglescout |
Terrorism |
no comments
I’m switching right away! It sequences your DNA for targeted advertising! And it’s free! Good bye Comcast! Here is how it works! and here the details! If anybody needs an invite to Google email me! I still have about 100 invites left! (If you don’t know me, I’m selling Google TiSP invites for only 10 buckaroos a month!)
Google TiSP
Why should I switch to Google TiSP?
- It’s fast. In our testing, TiSP delivers a 10x higher flow rate than basic DSL.
- It’s FREE. No more paying hundreds of dollars a year for Internet service that doesn’t even necessarily extend to your bathroom!
- It’s good for you. Your FREE TiSP service includes a Google Toolbar-based analysis of your dietary habits and genetic predispositions, along with recommendations for healthier living.
How can Google offer this service for free?
We believe that all users deserve free, fast and sanitary online access. To offset the cost of providing the TiSP service, we use information gathered by discreet DNA sequencing of your personal bodily output to display online ads that are contextually relevant to your culinary preferences, current health status and likelihood of developing particular medical conditions going forward. Google also offers premium levels of service for a monthly fee (see below).
April 1st, 2007
Posted by
eaglescout |
Biology, Technology, environment |
no comments
