Why I won’t vote for Ron Paul.
Select as many as apply:
I want a president with a low IQ (I’m voting for Giuliani)
I support a police state (Giuliani)
I want a candidate who worships Bush, the worst ex-president ever (Giuliani)
I will vote for a woman even if she doesn’t stand for anything just because we can’t let countries like Indonesia be the only ones which have had a female president. (Clinton)
I only vote for candidates with disfigured faces or heavy plastic surgery. (McCain, Clinton).
I support polygamy (Giuliani) and will never vote for Paul or Romney.
I hate ferrets (Giuliani)
I want to outlaw jaywalking and torture jaywalkers in this country (Giuliani)
I want to outlaw videogames, especially if they are violent (Clinton).
I have no understanding of right and wrong (Giuliani, Romney, Tancredo).
I like killing innocent civilians and interfering wth other countries (Bush [write-in])
I support terrorism (Giuliani, Bush [write-in], Romney).
I am an ignorant bastard (Tancredo, Giuliani)
I just want a black president, even if he is not 51% black (Obama).
I don’t want to know what my candidate stands for until after the elections (Clinton, Obama).
I hate my country and want it destroyed by the hatred of our old allies (Bush [write-in], Giuliani, Bolton [write-in])
I like Osama Bin Laden. It makes for entertaining news! (Bush [write-in], Giuliani)
We can’t forget 9/11, 9-11, 9.11, September 11, nine-eleven, … (Giuliani)
I want all internet communications controlled by the government, and I don’t mind being labelled a terrorist (Gingrich).
My ideal government is a police state (Giuliani, Gingrich)
Terror alerts give me an adrenaline rush (Giuliani, Bush [write-in], Gingrich).
I am a terrorist (Giuliani, Bush [write-in], Gingrich]
I am Osama Bin Laden (Giuliani, Bush [write-in], Gingrich)
I enjoy self-inflicted wounds (Giuliani, Bush [write-in], Gingrich)
I support the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, and they need material (Giuliani, Bush [write-in], Clinton, Tancredo, Al Gore [write-in], Bolton [write-in]).
I love fear-mongers (Bush [write-in], Giuliani, Al Gore).
We must win the war on FIRE!
I hide behind patriotism (Giuliani, Bush [write-in], McCain)
I want an illiterate idiot for president (Giuliani, Bush [write-in])
We can accelerate the arrival of the second-coming! (Bush [write-in], Giuiliani])
I love the idea of a new draft, especially with all the explosive new developments! (Edwards)
I’m too lazy to learn Spanish or get a job (Tancredo)
I want a W clone who can pretend - through acting - he isn’t one (Thompson)
Also because:
Ron Paul, like our founding fathers, is an extremist.
After 8 years of experience, Bush might make a good president, yet!
I’d like to use the constitution as toilet paper, given the chance.