[...]I was reading the news and I saw this really interesting info…[...]…

The thing is though, we need these guys. We may hate the recruiters, but they get the job done to secure a fighting force for our country. I know from experience that if you are smart with the recruiters and ask the right questions, you will acquire all of the information necessary to make an educated decision. We need all of those young Marines who go through hell for 13 weeks just to walk into a firestorm of bullets. These brave men protect our freedoms that we all cherish, such as the ability to hold discussions such as this. War is dirty. War isn’t fair and it isn’t pretty. But that’s the way our world works unfortunately, and I’m sick and tired of the liberal media bashing our men and women over there. Those journalists have no idea what it feels like to have the enemy conspiring to put you in the ground by any means necessary. I’ve seen the tapes. I’ve read the reports. And I would have acted the exact same way as those service men and women had. If a car were to come speeding toward my tank at 50 miles per hour, I would shoot the hell out of it too. The enemy is embedded in the urban setting with this war and that makes it extremely tricky. By now, the people of Iraq and Afghanistan should know to keep a distance from our forces and to comply with whatever rules are mandated, or else risk being shot. The reason these rules are in place, is because there are instances where that speeding car contains hundreds of pounds of explosives and one religious fanatic. Im not here to debate whether or not we should be there, but since we are we need to protect our men and women as best as we possibly can.

Why not join because of blind patriotism? I can think of no other reason to. We need more men and women who have such a profound love of their country that they are willing to lay their lives on the line for it. In my mind, anyone who volunteers for our armed forces is a hero, and holds my deepest respects. Anyone who “makes fun” of any personnel currently serving in our armed forces is an unpatriotic child who needs to be thankful that he lives in such a tolerant country.

I was making fun of war-happy young republicans who just want to kill towelheads.

I was also making fun of people who claim it is unpatriotic and unAmerican to leave Iraq.

I was making fun of recruiting officers for their commission-based recruitment lies. (And here I very much sympathize with deceived recruits).

I also wanted to make fun of Giuliani for his complete misunderstanding of foreign affairs, along with any of his supporters who think we must fight Iran because half the Middle East dislikes Israel.

Oh, and because of the blind obedience it fosters in some individuals. Somehow we accept a distinction between “Shock and Awe” and “Terrorism” based only on which side someone is on, everything else being equal.

But pick (comment 41) said it best.

If this gets someone to join the military, I’ll be just as happy as if it discourages someone else from joining.

Besides, if what you want out of the military is paid cosmetic surgery, that’s great; just consider the consequences: you might be asked to kill someone you don’t want to kill, or you may provoke more “terrorists” resulting in the death of your brother, or sister during their last tour of duty.

You may also learn some basic Arabic and prove to foreigners that we are not all the same, by respecting their ways, or genuinely trying to get them to safety, instead of shooting and crushing their only family vehicle with a tank, only because they violated your 1600 curfew.

But if you’ve thought about the consequences, good or bad, then you are not just joining the military out of blind patriotism, and then you deserve my respect. After all, there are a lot of good reasons to join. There just weren’t that many the last war around.

“Soldiers may not be defending your rights by the act of being in Iraq, albeit, They are building and protecting the rights of Iraqis”

As I recall, the rights of Iraqis had little to do with the stated purpose of the invasion. The only reason we are still there, is because somebody* is afraid to “lose” to Iraqis in the first place.

In other words, this part of your response is a red-herring fallacy.

“It is their mere PRESENCE defending your rights.”

Presence or PRESENCE (if you prefer) does not require signing away your rights to the U.S. military.

As you may have noticed, the article satirizes bad reasons to join the military and dogmatic thinking such as yours, it does not (as you seem to think) satirize the actual existence of a military.

“And without any soldiers brave enough to give their ’signature’ … ”

Apparently you didn’t read the article. Courage or bravery is far from the only reason people join the military.

“I’d very much like to see you alone on your pedestal, pontificating to no one, next time our country is attacked.”

Did you consider that there are brave people outside the military who are willing to defend their rights?

Did you stop to realize I may actually approve of the military when it is not dragged into retarded conflicts and wars of aggression?

“No Soldier signs up to be a hero. It just turns out that way sometimes.”

I think that’s one of the main points of the satire.

“And if their job provides them with pride, you must certainly be envious.”

Not really. If a soldier has legitimate reasons to be proud, I can appreciate that.

“You must call attention to yourself and feed off of your self-proclaimed brilliant epiphany ‘Hey…They aren’t defending my freedom by being in Iraq…’”

I don’t recall claiming that reason as brilliant, but that’s a nice straw-man fallacy you’ve got there.

“Again I will say, Their presence insures your freedoms.”

That’s a dogmatic generalization; and again, irrelevant to the satire.

“Their shadows are tall enough to stretch from Iraq to America.”

Metaphorically, that’s quite likely. But shooting yourself in the foot just because you can is a poor reason to do it.

Apparently, I care more for the lives of soldiers abroad than you do. You seem to enjoy the excitement of war as much as their pointless deaths in Iraq. Creating conditions that foster terrorism just because you can does not in any way defend my freedoms; not to mention, it costs lives.

“You spout off disrespect, dismissing your drek as satire. It is not satire. You are so disillusioned with your quest to be dismissive and pompously erudite, that you see it as such.”

I have to admit, it is not my best satire; but it certainly had its intended effect on jingoistic individuals.

“You even go so far as to accuse those disagreeing with you as ‘too stupid to understand politics and satire’”.

Not at all. I accuse people engaging in personal attacks as too stupid to understand politics and satire.

On the other hand, I do not characterize just anyone who disagrees with me as such. Nice try on misrepresenting what I wrote.

“Are you so omnipotent in all your political and satirical wisdom that you claim the ability to envision an America without need for an outstanding military?”

No. Read the rest of this post.

“Bravo Sir. However, I, and many others it would seem, have no desire to have our objections to your grand and glorious realization belittled.”

It appears you may be confused about what precisely is being belittled.

“The United States is a world power and must act as such.”

Acting irresponsibly is probably not what you had in mind. It would be great if instead of killing our own soldiers abroad and creating enemies with new-found legitimate reasons to attack us, we could focus on solving and not perpetuating the problem of terrorism.

“With great power comes great responsibility.”

That’s just a cliché that negates your entire argument.

*John McCain, W, Bill O’Reilly, et al.

Well, you self-centered, courage-abasing, depreciating fool, Soldiers may not be defending your rights by the act of being in Iraq, albeit, They are building and protecting the rights of Iraqis. It is their mere PRESENCE defending your rights. And without any soldiers brave enough to give their “signature”, I’d very much like to see you alone on your pedestal, pontificating to no one, next time our country is attacked.No Soldier signs up to be a hero. It just turns out that way sometimes. And if their job provides them with pride, you must certainly be envious. You must call attention to yourself and feed off of your self-proclaimed brilliant epiphany “Hey…They aren’t defending my freedom by being in Iraq…” Again I will say, Their presence insures your freedoms. Their shadows are tall enough to stretch from Iraq to America. You spout off disrespect, dismissing your drek as satire. It is not satire. You are so disillusioned with your quest to be dismissive and pompously erudite, that you see it as such. You even go so far as to accuse those disagreeing with you as “too stupid to understand politics and satire”. Are you so omnipotent in all your political and satirical wisdom that you claim the ability to envision an America without need for an outstanding military? Bravo Sir. However, I, and many others it would seem, have no desire to have our objections to your grand and glorious realization belittled.
This is not a personal attack so do not label it as such.
The United States is a world power and must act as such. With great power comes great responsibility.

The truth in what you say is absolutly right. I think this piece of writing is only useful when people react to it. To say that people are dying for your right to write this sort of stuff is ridiculous. Iraqis and Afghans have never threatened your rights to write this sort of stuff.

Is there anyone in the military or closely linked to the military out there that isn’t right wing? Does anyone out there take a step back and wonder why we are there? It seems easy to say freedom and that stuff but how much freedom have they gained over there with us? None I reckon. We have simply replaced a leader who was unpalatable to us with one that is! The ordinary Iraqi or Afghan doesn’t come into the equation once!

Many of these crabby responders do not seem to understand the underlying principles of “liberty” either. They sure do know how to raise a ruckus when they get “offended”, though. It amazes me that what was once one of the most tolerant societies on the planet has turned into this assortment of crybabies yelling “Take it back!”. No one seems to have the self control anymore to read something and say to themselves “Gee, I think this is awful, but fully respect the poster’s rights to write it” and move on. Nope, got to raise a big fuss and bawl about it.

Maybe they would be better served spending their time creating a special interest lobbying group “Crybabies of America: Everything Anyone Does or Says Offends Us”. Take it right to D.C.’s K Street and get an education along the way.

My oldest son is serving in the Navy and he enlisted before 9-11. Even he finds this piece humorous. Maybe all of America has just lost its sense of humor with things being as they are? Why are Americans becoming so crabby and so negative?

I like satire but I am sick to death of crybabies!

… Earlier this year around January I noticed that Fox news spamming the words “sons and daughters” are fighting for our freedom. It really got to me because I know there are a million reasons to join the military.

(personally I joined the Air Force because I was laid off from Worldcom and bored and I just wanted someone to take advantage of me.)

Anyways, I got so tired of hearing about the “sons and daughters” dying over there that I wrote Fox news a letter telling them that there are others over there too. Some of them I’m sure joined “to get away from their parents”. So I asked Fox news to respect us as “men and women of the Armed Forces”.

In about a week, all use of “Sons and Daughters” by anchor people ceased.

Also I reminded that our obligation as members is to defend our country, and that we do not get to pick which wars we fight(if we try to we are treated as traitors). We are not all hero’s. Watch “Flags of Our Fathers”. Hero’s are something that we make up to get us through difficult times. Apparently picking on a dictator that is not a threat to us is also a way to get through difficult times.

What gives some people the impetus to take up uniformed service isn’t what makes them heroes. What makes them heroes is how they respond to danger, hardship, and loss. Most people facing deployment will get their fair share of all three. That action of joining in the face of those troubles matters a lot more than an individual’s reasons for joining.

You talk of soldiers being used, of soldiers dying. Soldiers are supposed to be used. Soldiers are expendable. That’s why it’s called service. It’s putting the interests of the country ahead of the interests of the self. Soldiers aren’t being killed because they were lied to, they’re being killed because they chose to be soldiers.

You are right that soldiers do not have any special privileges. In fact, they voluntarily give up most of their rights as a civilian. Does that make them heroes? Perhaps, and perhaps not; that depends on your definition. Either way, our country would not exist without such people.

All soldiers know that their leaders don’t get everything right, and many comment on how wrong their leaders are with great frequency. Yet they still perform their mission. To do otherwise is to go down a dangerous road that bridges a separation George Washington made between those that derive their power from elections and those that derive their power from might. To bridge that separation is to invite military coups and true fascism.

Zeig heil then to all the militarist fascists that have attacked the author. Blind patriotism…yes, that’s what it is.

Since you are the target of the satire, it’s no surprise you don’t get it.

I’m not mocking the hopes, dreams, and agonies of well-intentioned people. I’m sorry that you don’t get it.

Mocking the hopes, dreams, and agonies of decent, well-intentioned people like this doesn’t make you a satirist. It makes you a jerk.

Seems like you agree with me. You do not have a choice. The Congress and the President sent you there.

You are not all heroes. You are “ordinary people, with ordinary families and friends.”

You also said we should leave Iraq. I agree.

The point of the article is that signing up for the military doesn’t make you a hero automatically.

And as to your point about me benefiting from people who “knew freedom is not free” (an overused cliché,) you ought to know that I’m not benefiting from the senseless deaths of our soldiers; And I’m not benefiting from the senseless deaths of Iraqis, either.

As for your point about retaliation; maybe we ought to retaliate; so why don’t we?

The military is drawn from society and as such you are going to find much the same combinations you find elsewhere in my society. In my workplace for example you will find some people who are very outspoken against this war and how it is being run. You will also find ones that will defend it’s righteousness all day. I appreciate the fairly decent attempt at making people laugh a little and apologize for the lack of good responses.

And as i’m expecting replies back about this from the military/ ex-military/ and families on this. I’ve been working with the Arabic language and arabs for over 6 years now and have been to Iraq. Yes, i know what I know what our soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen go through. However I also know that this piece is a rather thorny piece of satire. Please treat it as such.

That aside, I find it completely misinformed to believe those who are currently in Iraq are “protecting his right to say this stuff.” The war in Iraq is NOT protecting our freedoms. The “war on terrorism” has done more to stump our own freedoms than to protect them. Iraq didn’t even have connections to “terrorism” in the first place. Sure, there have been legitimate reasons to “fight for freedoms” in our country’s history, but the last war to do so was arguably WWII. We are causing harm to our security and our civil liberties by continuing these World Police actions which we have been participating in the last 50 odd years.

You want to know who the real heroes are? Those that speak out against their own government! If you cannot look around you and see a country that is going to hell, you lack rational thought. The founding fathers fought against an oppressive government that overtaxed them, invaded their privacy, and stepped on their liberties. Sound familiar? Sure, we have it pretty good in this country– we aren’t getting mass-murdered. The colonists weren’t suffering from being killed off either, but they were free men and were tired of a growing, tyrannical government like we are getting close to today! The founders weren’t overlooking their own problems to go off saving other oppressed nations; they were fighting for their own liberties! The Iraqis were never our concern. The war is pointless. Civil disobedience against OUR government isn’t pointless. That’s where our concern is. Anyone joining the military today, to fight in Iraq, are not joining to fight for the interests of our own country, and if they think they are, they are ill informed.

Funny article. The rest of you should learn to understand satire.

It was worth it, too. I took plenty of photos of Iraq while I was there –> http://www.flickr.com/photos/aheram/sets/72157594413176818/

Unlinke the other comments on the site I actually understand wher you are coming from (although maybe try and be a little less insulting at the end with the ‘retard’ comments).

The really funny thing is that every single one of the above went through that list of things maticulously before commenting. Why the hell did they not just leave?

PEOPLE…GET OVER IT. ITS FUNNY! These are actually real reasons many of them and thats what makes it funny, ridiculous even. Instead of getting at the blog writer why not spend some time actually educating yourselves as to what your military is for? Last time i looked going into a different country without any real reason was called an invasion.

Your right to express yourself like that and your freedom does not come for free you know. Remember that. Concider yourself very lucky that people are joining up and paying with their life so you can stay back in your comfortable and safe home, making fun of it.
As for your quote above, you can ventilate your own vinds but have not earnt the right to speak for them.

Its both sad and ironic that you are ignorant to this truth.

Sir, I served with Stephen Colbert: I knew Stephen Colbert; Stephen Colbert was a friend of mine. Sir, you’re no Stephen Colbert.

Now that’s funny.

My father served in the Navy for 24 years and fought in three wars (WWII, Korean and Vietnam). My husband also served in the Navy for 14 years before he was killed in the line of duty. THEY are heroes – you are an asshole.