The Truth @ The Spin Factor

Political Atheist: Mitt, Fred, and Rudy. Who are three people collectively less smart than most high schoolers?

Why does anyone want to vote for these idiots? You’ve got Giuliani pretending to be tough on terror (even though Chris Matthews considers him a terrorist); Fred trying desperately to win by laying on a couch all day and riding around in a golf cart, possibly still hoping his YouTube video will go viral and magically incite a Ron Paul effect; and finally Mitt Romney, who took a page from Rudy’s kindergarten playbook and started whining “what about 9/11″ in a poor attempt to draw attention to himself at the Iowa debate.

The remaining choice is obvious. But in keeping with the tradition of the old media, I won’t even mention the name.

From Political Atheist on 8/18/07:

So Rudolph Giuliani has finally come out and revealed what kind of amazingly stupid dick he can be. When he was criticized for not really caring too much about the health problems the 9/11 rescue workers were suffering from he said something to the effect of he had spent as much time if not more than the majority of the people trying to dig bodies out of the rubble of 9/11. Well, he had to backtrack because it sounded like he was saying he was more heroic than the firemen and all the other ACTUAL heroes of September 11th. But that’s not why he’s less intelligent than most high schoolers. Most high schoolers understand that statements like that can be verified quantitatively, which is what the New York Times did. And what did the New York Times find out? That Mayor Giuliani spent about 29 hours total in the area where the World Trade Center fell. Which means the vast majority of rescue workers spent more time by September 14th at Ground Zero than he did. Rudolph Giuliani has apologized again, but not before having someone write a rambling article under his name in Foreign Affairs.

That article deserves its own paragraph it’s so god damn stupid. It’s like Giuliani had Norman Podhoretz drink five bottles of Wild Irish Rose and then sit at a laptop and just type, because it’s really the most delusional piece of writing this side of Little Green Footballs’ insane fascination with Islam in southeastern Asia.

America and its allies have made progress since that terrible day. We have responded forcefully to the Terrorists’ War on Us, abandoning a decadelong — and counterproductive — strategy of defensive reaction in favor of a vigorous offense. And we have set in motion changes to the international system that promise a safer and better world for generations to come.

In what universe? Firstly let’s be real, we have hardly responded forcefully to the terrorists’ “War on Us.” A forceful response would have been to carpet bomb Afghanistan into absolute nothing, which I’m not advocating, but I suspect al Qaeda would not be as resurgent in Waziristan right now had we used Barry Goldwater’s approach to Vietnam. Secondly, a forceful response to al Qaeda and those who support them would have meant dealing seriously with countries like Saudi Arabia. Fifteen of the nineteen hijackers came from the Kingdom, and the head of al Qaeda is a Saudi. Telling the Saudi royals to fuck off, which Rudy rightfully did when they promised 15 million dollars with the stipulation that Israel be criticized, is not necessarily a forceful response. And finally, in that paragraph, we have set in motion changes to the international system. We have allowed democracy to flourish in Egypt, Lebanon, and Palestine. What has that brought us? The Muslim Brotherhood, Hezbollah, and Hamas. You know, it may not be politically correct to say this, but giving the Arabs the right to make their own decisions usually leads to bad decisions being made. Even my friends from Morocco think that.
Next up, Fred Thompson. He is still trying to fight the image that he’s a lazy asshole. He did so by going to the Iowa State Fair and riding around in a golf cart, unlike any of the other candidates. The man is a genuine idiot. What has he done for his campaign so far? Seen a ton of butter shaped like a cow, and made an incredibly stupid video response to Michael Moore challenging him to a debate. The YouTube video has him claiming his schedule is full. Well yeah, he’s got sleeping to do. Who does Michael Moore think he is trying to interrupt the sleep time of the GOP’s Garfield with things like debates and issues? He’s also using idiot terms like Islamofascism and talking about fighting the terrorists, while hiring people for his campaign staff who are admittedly more sympathetic towards groups like Hezbollah. Nutjob Debbie Schlussel won’t support him now because he hired someone with somewhat sympathetic ties towards other people in the Middle East besides the Likud Party’s members.
He also refuses to abide by his campaign financing rules. He was an outspoken supporter of the hideous McCain-Feingold campaign financing laws, but is right now avoiding all of that by not announcing that he’s running. So right now he could conceivably collect much more than $2000 a donor because he’s not running for anything except tallest douchebag to see 2000 lbs of butter shaped into a bovine.
And finally, Mitt Romney. It’s like the man has no brain in his head. I just relistened to the Iowa debate from two weeks ago, and it’s absolutely amazing how stupid he is and how stupid he thinks the voters are. When they replayed Sam Brownback’s critical message of Mitt Romney’s position on a woman’s right to choose, he said none of the message is true. When pressed which part in particular was untrue, he said “well I’m pro-life.” Well that’s not the point of Sam Brownback’s advertisement. Brownback’s advertisement is filled with direct quotes of Governor Romney saying he’s an advocate for a woman’s right to choose, which Romney refused to refute.
This was all within a month of him claiming that his sons trying to get him elected Chief Executive is equivalent to serving in the Armed Forces, holding up a sign which implied Barack Obama is worse than Osama bin Laden, praising Hezbollah (which Crooks and Liars agreed with, but Crooks and Liars also blamed Robert Mugabe’s odious actions on the United States), and then laughing while telling a story about his dog essentially being tortured while on a family road trip. I mean seriously, the man might be genuinely dense.

August 19th, 2007 Posted by eaglescout | 2008 Election, Analysis, Commentary, Neoconservatives, Politics | 2 comments