Science is a cult
I WENT DOWN TO THE LAB AND GOT BAPTISED TODAY. They gave me my own copy of the Principia with my name in gold leaf on the front.
Now I have to bring at least 6 of my friends over to the observatory on Saturday night for the meteor shower.
I like it down at the lab. They give me granola bars and let me do precips in test tubes and they talk to me about Carl Sagan. They’ve got a big picture of Carl up on the wall and when the bell rings we all recite Pale Blue Dot. They ring the bell every couple of hours.
They said if anyone at home or at school starts talking about things that aren’t scientific, you know like cool bands or sports or what kind of car we want when we get our license, I should just stop listening and walk away, and when I see those kids in private I should quote to them from the Principia and invite them over to the observatory so they can see the meteor shower.
I don’t really understand much in the Principia, but they say that’s ok, the more I read it the better I’ll understand, and some of it even they don’t understand with their minds, but it speaks to their hearts.
Oh, and I have to donate part of my allowance. I give them the part I used to spend on gum and Mad Magazine. I don’t really need them anymore, now that I get the granola bars and have the Principia to read.
This year I want to go to science camp. All the older boys down at the lab go, and some of the older girls dropped by last time I was there and said how they don’t really hang around with boys who haven’t been, cause they’re not as grown up. Some of the girls were really cute!
I’m going through all my t-shirts now, and separating out all the ones that aren’t scientific, like the ones with bands on them or football teams, which is pretty much all of them. I’m gonna donate them. I don’t know how I feel about that, because I’m afraid it might mislead some other kid somewhere, but the post-doc told me not to worry, they’ll go somewhere where nobody speaks English.
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