“Making it even easier for the terrorists. Prelude to the North American Union. The Teamsters Union said it has been told by officials in the Transportation Department’s Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration that the first Mexican trucks will be coming across the border on Saturday.”
Yeah, because Mexican Trucks = terrorism.
Oh, and the world is going to end soon.
Here is some rational analysis, to counter your irrational xenophobia:
Teach your friends and family to use the internet.
Show them a clip of their favorite TV show, or music video on YouTube.
Help them look up a Ron Paul video and ask them what they think.
If they can use the internet, they have complete access to Ron Paul. The rest is up to Ron Paul, and he sells himself remarkably well.
Try a video with Tucker, Chris Matthews, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, or if they have a decent attention span, this video:
If you understand the nuances of true conservatism, or classical liberalism, strike up a conversation with a friend who is undecided. Someone who thinks for himself/herself, dislikes the war, or dislikes dogmatic infringement of personal liberty will respond quite nicely. Others will too.* Everybody likes freedom.**
These are good places to brush up on liberty as it pertains to government:
Bring the internet to the older generation, and Ron Paul will do the rest.
* Some older people dislike paying for expensive medication (courtesy of the FDA) when it is cheaper abroad; or being restricted to picking up their medications every month, instead of once every 3 months (which is more convenient). Young parents may be concerned that they can’t afford to move to a wealthy area with good schools, (easily resolved with school vouchers or other privatization), and being told they cannot send children to the school of their choice. A small business owner may want the government to ease up on time-consuming and inconvenient regulations. A smart college student who has done his/her research may want to choose his own anti-depressant, instead of requiring a prescription from a general practitioner (who will simply select the medication via trial and error, anyway). A lot of people may not want heavy surveillance, REAL ID, or any more of the Patriot Act (a real misnomer). More politically inclined people may simply want government transparency. Ron Paul means all these things.
Patriot Trash is defined as people who claim to be patriots, but whose actions and ideology are actually bad for this country. That includes most neocons and supporters of this [Iraq] war.
As a follow up on military service people being “heroes” and all…
These are some reasons to join the military:
for honor
for country
for money
free tuition
travel abroad
“blow shit up”
because you hate brown people
because you hate Muslims
because you think you are going to do something good for our country
because you are politically illiterate
because you want to kill people
for the adventure (good one)
for the hookers near military bases, esp. coastal cities
because you are not disciplined enough to do things on your own and you want somebody else to tell you what to do
because you can’t get a job in the real world
because your buddies “did it”
because you parents did it
because your brothers did it
because it was expected of you
“Taking a stand against terrorism” Yeah right…
for the experience (this is a good one)
to learn new things (good one too)
to protect your country (another good one, if you are not starting wars with random countries and your commander in chief is not an idiot)
for potential prestige (not bad)
work experience (decent, too)
to say you did it
so you won’t be called a chicken-hawk
because it makes you look brave
because people will blindly see you as a hero, even if you don’t deserve the title
because you want to know what a bullet feels like
because you want to play with guns or tanks
because it’s easier to follow orders than to think for yourself
health care benefits
dental benefits
military discounts
free flights between bases
pay back your expensive college loans
get to tell people what to do (at some point)
advanced and technical training (nice choice)
because you think God wants you to (lol)
pension
get to yell at foreign strangers
you enjoy pain
you enjoy inflicting pain
because your recruiter lied to you (ouch)
to get citizenship
to be freed (if you were previously a slave)
to get away from your parents
you lost a bet
to meet exotic women abroad
you don’t care for your right leg (you are hoping you’ll be shot and compensated for it)
you think you owe tribute to fallen soldiers
to take revenge
because you want to kill japs
because you want to kill towelheads
because you want to kill Nazis
to find Osama Bin Laden and kick his ass (probably the greatest reason of all)
to kill real terrorists (not Iraqi civilians)
to kill Iraqi civilians
because you think you can force people to be free, even when their idea of freedom is radically different from yours.
to destroy Al Qaeda (another great reason)
for a good career (maybe)
to take out Saddam Hussein (no longer applicable)
to prepare for a career with the CIA
no more job hunting or resumes
pride
false pride
because you liked the boy scouts or girl scouts
you enjoy fighting
you enjoy martial arts
your parents or the politician near you won’t let you carry guns
you want to learn new languages
you are preparing to work for blackwater
to protect Israel (even though they don’t need or deserve our protection anymore than their neighbors)
because you think it’s your duty (…why?)
you are preparing for a criminal career
because you adore Hitler
because you want to be a skilled, high-profile terrorist
because you think you won’t be in the front lines
because you were drafted
because you were shafted
because your parents made you
because your family is way poor
because you got your high school sweetheart pregnant (need money)
because your girlfriend/boyfriend thinks men/women in uniforms are hot
because you think men/women in uniforms are hot
because you are gay (in the homosexual sense)
to freak your parents out
because your parents asked you not to
because you hate yourself
for the adrenaline rush
you like to go camping/hiking/hunting
to put your parents through hell
because you are not worried about brain damage
because you think you are invincible / indestructible
because you are not worried about amputation / blindness (extremities are redundant anyway)
because you look forward to begging for money on the streets as a war veteran
because you were told you would never see combat
because “more people get killed in NY than in Iraq” every day
because you can “choose any job you want” (hahahaha)
because you are not worried about blatant discrimination
because you detest freedom (your own)
because you didn’t realize there are many other ways to get all of the above
to take part in history (not too bad)
to become an officer (power)
to learn 100 ways to kill someone
to learn to defend yourself
to learn to defend yourself if you ever lead a revolution
because you thought you could quit anytime
because you thought it would be easy
because you want to learn to use nuclear weapons
to fly a jet
to learn to command a helicopter
because it might be funner than Halo
because you want to join a special operations team (even though you probably won’t make it due to competition)
to learn to be a sniper (could be neat)
because you enjoy war movies
because you are not smart enough to do something else
because you’ve always wondered what food in the military tastes like
to march around in funny suits
to join a band and wear funny suits
to clean toilets with only toothbrushes and spit
because it’s cool to get promoted
to challenge yourself (another good one)
to get strong
to get lean
to get in shape
to be prepared in the event of a terrorist attack
because you were abused as a child and want revenge (the training)
to get a free nosejob
free liposuction
free breast enlargement
breast augmentation
facelift
cosmetic surgery (courtesy of Donald Rumsfeld)
your girlfriend/boyfriend wants you to get plastic surgery
because you think you are patriotic
because you don’t realize that the military is making things worse for the United States and the world.
because you think you’ll be defending your country
EDIT: because you worship Bush (one of the worst reasons, probably)
EDIT 2: No, because you worship Giuliani, lol
P.S. Joining the military doesn’t make you a hero; all it takes is a signature.
EDIT 3: I’m not insulting the troops. If you don’t understand satire, don’t bother posting a comment.
Myth Number 1:
“My friends and sons and daughters are dying for your satire and your freedoms.”
No. They are probably in Iraq fighting people who have nothing to do with 9/11.
Myth Number 2:
“By making personal attacks on the author of this article and telling the author how he/she couldn’t write this if it wasn’t for the soldiers he/she is criticizing, I’ll show him/her.”
Wrong. Since I never in this article insult the military, it goes to show just how retarded you are. You continue to validate the list by showing me that people are too stupid to understand politics and satire. When soldiers go to Iraq, they are in NO WAY defending my right to write any of this. Iraqis have NOT threatened my freedom, so there is no need to kill them.
Tancredo suggested we bomb Muslim holy sites in retaliation for a future terrorist attack. Perhaps Tancredo wants to punish 99.9% of Muslims for a crime they did not commit. Perhaps Tancredo, like Rudy Giuliani, needs to learn about blowback.
I suppose Uzbekistan, Saudi Arabia, and Bosnia and Herzegovina among other majority Muslim countries are going to applaud Tancredo and the United States for turning Mecca into a glass crater. I’m sure bombing Mecca will have no negative consequences in regard to our political and economic situation.
Of course, this is not the first time such a ridiculous strategy has been suggested. You may recall when President Bush allegedly expressed his desire to bomb Al-Jazeera in 2004; while this story may not be true, two British journalists were charged with disclosing secret information.
It is curious that when it is done to us it constitutes terrorism. But when we terrorize others, somehow it is not classified as terrorism. I think threatening 1.5 billion people and a symbol of their religion constitutes terrorism; but maybe the modern definition of terrorism doesn’t have anything to do with terror anymore.
Partisans within ideological groups tended to view themselves as atypical vis-a-vis their group: atypical in their moderation, in their freedom from bias, and in their capacity to ’see things as they are in reality’ even when that reality proves to be ideologically inconvenient or ‘politically incorrect’. –Harvard Business School researcher Robert J. Robinson
This is an ingenious plan to get Ron Paul elected.
“This is my plan to help Ron Paul take the primaries. This is something all Ron Paul supporters need to unite behind. If he doesn’t win the primaries, it’s game over.”
For more neutral reporting watch The Daily Show tonight @ 11 and the Colbert Report next week (Wednesday, June 13th) Ron Paul will be a special guest, courtesy of Digg.com.
(1) Send more troops (maybe 50,000 more) purely for peacekeeping and to protect the troops already there.
(2) Train 25,000 of those soldiers (special forces, actually) *ONLY* on the local Arabic language, Iraqi customs and Iraqi culture. Their task is to establish rapport with the locals and soften the effect of our presence.
(3) Stop building schools, etc… That’s not the job of the military.
(4) Open up dialog with every nation in the Middle East. Find out what each entity wants and use that as leverage.
(5) Have the Bush Administration issue a formal or informal apology to the nations involved and interfered with. Stop protecting any U.S. businesses and corporations that are there - These corporations can buy their own private protection or leave.
(6) Aim to leave in 3 years. The special forces are to soften the effect of leaving and soften the effect of our presence. If this is successful, we may not need to leave.
(7) Leave religion out of the equation and stop talking about democracy. It’s not our place to determine what is best for them, or to shove it down their throats even if we were right. Nevertheless, the special forces can use psychological tactics to encourage the spread of democracy (but more importantly to reduce friction between factions and enable an atmosphere of peace).
(8) Find a compromise between the different factions involved. This should be enabled by the special forces aforementioned and encouraged, not forced onto.
It took me a few minutes to write this up. Surely our leaders can do better.
